my not-so-bitchen life

i am
thinking of the next thing i have to buy
to own
because
i do not own enough things
and if i
own more things
then i am better inside

and i am
eating bright fake sushi in a
strip mall
in fairfield


and i begin to dangerously
think about
how i feel

and i am able to easily divert that
as i am
comfortably safely distracted familiar
by the sports programs
flickering on
the large flatscreen tvs

and i realize
i need a larger flatscreen tv

and you are talking to me
and i am multitasking
and watching hockey recaps
and looking at flat screen tvs on my iphone
and listening to you say something about sushi

and my body may be
exhausted
but luckily i am fueled by
19.7 ounces of
assorted starbucks fluids

and i am sitting in a strip mall sushi place in fairfield
and i am getting a great deal on a 47 inch flatscreen with money that is virtual
and you are saying something about how you feel
and luckily i am not listening but instead watching baseball highlights
and crunching on crunchy fairfield dynamite roll fantastic

juicestained

she is
a hot candle
flickering
in this
cold, windy air

she is
a sweet red nectarine
juicestained
on my white t-shirt

she stole my heart
and painted it
with kisses
and gold leaf
then
handed it back to me

my life is
blood orange juice
sweet, rich, colorful

she is
the carbonation

that makes my juice
explode

and she exploded my thoughts
my perceptions
misconceptions

she flipped my
infatuation

into
rich, ripe, sweet, colorful
celebration

i
spicy sweet eggplant
a spray of moist at pier 35 perhaps
laughs smiles
pandora, you opened your box
let me in and i cracked mine too
a hopeful juicy hug
ya, the best first date i ever had

ii
crunchy filo sexy
hands meet my heart skips a beat
hawaiian bath fantasy
note to self: she likes miniature things
you asked to kiss me
<< melt >>

iii
the gum that saved her teeth - true story
chew chew chews me
hands stuck like stuck
thai basil coconut sticky sexy backyard
     *help i'm alive my heart keeps beating like a hammer
chew walk laugh repeat repeeeeaaaaat
     *the emphasis is on the walk
saved by a warm taxi
wrapped around you
like a human tortilla
you on my couch
i am a living butterfly burrito

iv
denny's decaf
hurt feeling shift
she eats honey like sex
i'm a sucker for her honey punch

v
i should like to lay in tall sweet grass
and gaze at your honeyjuicity
i should like to view a deadly cacti
and speak of air plants
vegan pate
near-wet sink incident
became
4 hours of private
ecstasy
& veggie ethiopian #1 delish

vi
fuck it's cold
but your hand and smile and hug and heart and joy make me hot
ethiopian #2
you're so fucking special
such a jagged little jill
taxi #3
and the kiss that maybe
put it all over the top

vii
wiki-wiki-wiki
macaroons
dancing & singing for a taxi like gene kelly & debbie reynolds

you ate my nourish
i licked your plate
you sucked my raspberries
i took your wet water
and drank you in
i didn't sleep
i heard you say
you were looking for me
you washed my dishes
i kissed the back of your neck
again
(muskrat love)
homemade paper & envelope burn
a heart-shaped burnhole in my pocket

viii, ix, x...
(you started a list)

Shoulds & Shouldn'ts

Things I Should Be Doing:
Creating that budget spreadsheet
Getting angry about the Almond Milk from my neon green nylon lunchbag that spilled on my shoes & clothes
Worrying about work deadlines
Surfing the internet
Flossing my teeth
Sorting & alphabetizing random things
Being overwhelmed by all the work I have to get done today
Being cynical & sarcastic in a subtle & inappropriate manner toward well-deserving co-workers

Things I Shouldn't Be Doing:
Thinking about that girl at 7:30 on a Monday morning
Swerving my bike around Telegraph Avenue, listening to Happy Pearl Jam, singing aloud and pissing off commuters
Trying to keep these butterflies from escaping
Laying in bed imagining clever & tasty ways to make vegetarian meatloaf
Thinking about the back of her neck when I still have that deadline
Craving her fingers glued to mine
Writing on my blog at 9:09 am, on a Monday morning, at work
Eating vegetarian Ethiopian food in Lower Haight
Making out on her kitchen counter, almost pushing her into the sink

dancing with the hipsters

at 3:51 on sunday afternoon
i am
hugging you tightly

you will sneak away
embarrassed

you heard me

snubbing the mainstream

i accidentally

saw you smile

your melancholy
paints

my white earplugs black
i am singing

lady gaga aloud

(and i am making up the words)

you are uncomfortable

your skinny jeans

are squirming

your eyes squint

behind

ray ban elvis costello glasses

because you know the words

<< secret >>

i saw that film

about that tragic thing
but i'll never read the book

and that makes you

hit the ‘dislike’ button

and we can
reference
character flaws and denouement
and I've
flecks of kale and chili flake
in my teeth

unicorns are just alright with me

i am purchasing a garden gnome

who is perhaps

the nephew of yours

and

i am in your front yard

plucking

3

sweet lemon tulips

standing

in your window

you are aghast

we are both wearing plaid

at 9:16 this evening
we'll both be
llstening
to iron & wine
on vinyl

and later

wearing

 kale and chili flakes
in our teeth.

listen

a
little
garbanzo
bean

is
moving

stirring

squirming and sprawling

an infant
come to life

it has sprouted 

life

something
dry, old, cold, bland

is
alive
dancing

a green tail

short
sleek
hungry

swooshes around
like
the tail of a jack russell terrier

that little bean
has wedged itself

into my heart

and refuses to leave

The Grande Update on Blogoliciousness

So here's the thing... I realize I committed to doing this thing daily.

I just can't do it. A, it's kind of a lot of work and feels a bit pressured, and that's no fun for a boy who is a sensitive character such as myself.

B, it doesn't really feel authentic. I figure if I'm going to be writing in this public forum, I want to express stuff that feels true, current, natural and sincere. I don't want to blow blogsmoke up any backsides with wordy and intellectual fluff, or frothy emotional appeal.

SO, you can look forward to random short story ideas, limericks perhaps, rhymes, poems, unusual and perhaps inappropriate anecdotes, and things that may not fit nicely into a box.