Wednesday, 3/30/11: Special Bonus Post - Cat Situation!

My cats are my family.

My "natural" family are loved dearly, but spread around, and I rarely see them.

Charlie & Daphne have been with me for about 10 years I reckon, the longest relationship I've ever had.

They play, cuddle, clean, run, purr, lick water and eat food, pee, poo... The usual stuff.

In all honesty, these are the two best cats I've ever had. And I am a cat guy - I've probably been dad to 30-40 cats, not counting when I was a little boy with 10 for awhile. Sort of a crazy cat kid. Or not sort of...

Around Christmas 2010, some weird stuff started happening. In the evenings, they'd fight. Not usual cat banter... Fight like cats in an alley who spin around, slice each other up, bleed, and cry in pain.

My reaction was shock, terror, anger, frustration, hopelessness, powerlessness, anxiety... Etc.

The vet recommended this plug-in product called Feliway. I'm still waiting for it to start working.

Fast-forward: I moved to a new place a month ago. It's smaller, and they were already on shaky ground prior to moving... She would regularly growl and hiss at him, and he, being so curious, would come at her while she expressed disdain, creating a scene.

In my new place, things came to a head last Friday, when Charlie began attacking/jumping on myself and others with all fours, scratching, ripping at flesh, wailing. Terrifying. Heartbreaking. Everything you can imagine that goes with that.

I finally took him to the vet on Saturday, he had a fine check-up/bloodwork, etc., and they gave me a sedative for him to chill.

I administered the drug, and he got really slow, loopy, tired, and it broke my heart to see him that way. His eyes were 1/2-covered with the whites, and his face was so distorted that he looked like a different cat. It caused me so much sadness to see that. The vet wanted to give him a script for cat-prozac, which I reluctantly agreed to.

Some of my friends think I need to spend more time and energy re-acquainting them with each other or my new place or using special toys or whatever. I love my friends - all of them. Someone suggested that the problem is that I've moved recently, but these cats have moved with me and my ex-wife probably a dozen times over their lifetime. No joke. The fact is, I haven't slept in 6 nights, and even with proper sleep, I don't have time or means to pay for the services, to babysit them, etc. It breaks my heart - the whole situation. I have cried, not eaten, and also fucked up at work, been depressed, and just felt overall really horrible. It's been a nightmare of hopeless and lonely terror, I kid you not. I am a single man, and I simply am unable to dedicate energy to this situation when I'm still trying to unpack in my new place, buy groceries, cook, live my daily life, go to meetings, etc. This situation has sucked the life out of me quickly.

 I don't know why it happened - there are a few reasons that could explain it - but the fact is that my life has quickly been bulldozed by this. Why is not a spiritual question. Faith without works is dead.

So I've been praying. And talking to others. I put an ad on Facebook looking for a place for Daphne to go, because she is the sweeter one overall, and will be easier to find a home for. She is such a sweetheart, a lover of people, so friendly and happy, but she seems to hate him these days.

Two of my friends came through, one to pick her up and escort her, and the other to take her in, at least for a week or so until I find a permanent home. However, he is considering keeping her if it works out and if he can get permission from the landlord. I honestly couldn't think of a sweeter person to be her new dad, so we'll see what God has in store.

I am SO GRATEFUL for Samantha Stevens and Eric Andler, who graciously came through for me. One more example of how prayer works, and I am reminded that everything will always be okay no matter what. I knew it all day today - that I would be fine, that Daphne & Charlie would be fine, and that God had a plan. Here it is...